Too many commitments, too many thoughts, too facebook? Useless, I would have plenty of time to cultivate my literary ambitions bloggeristiche, is that they are apathetic. It 'a period so mundane tranquil: a series of rambling vaguely days, nor fantastically horribly sad nor happy, I feel just survive, but that is vibrant misty expectancy does not quite know what to fear, but also underground, especially if that lethargic peace comes after a period of very dense small and large bad luck and pain.
short, it is worse than being bored or being sick?
(The lack of the third alternative is not random, but can be traced back all'indomito optimism that distinguishes me: after all, a pessimist is just an optimist with experience!)
I said, humans are strange (and I do not do certain exceptions): the Most of us, rather than using the inevitable moments of pause to address themselves and impossible questions about the meaning of life, would accept more readily the pain, because basically we are convinced (we were convinced?), "Life is not measured how many breaths we take, but by the moments that take your breath away. " Mmmm ...
Apart from the understandable skepticism of the World Medical pulmonologists, but it is true that it should be so? I'm finally starting to accept the idea that my boredom of living is by no means caused by the external environment ... Well of course, live in New York with a group of hippies who are abandoned, rather than immersed in the old color of time with 90% of friends now hopelessly ensnared by parental responsibilities, may provide new stimuli, but eventually even those I would certainly boring. Why in fact I've got into boredom.
Nor is boredom and anxiety. Anxiety of life, anxiety to try, hear, do (kissing point and will say): I burn this because I'm always looking into the future, because I have a sharp awareness that my time is limitato e vorrei usarlo al meglio. Solo che riguardo a questo "meglio" ho le idee un po' confuse, e quindi in assenza di una direttiva chiara mi disperdo in mille rivoli perchè dovrei fare di più, provare di più, sentire di più. La ragazza è intelligente ma non si applica, potrebbe fare di più...
Cosa? Boh! E nel frattempo l'attimo presente mi sfugge. Panta rei, ecc ecc. Un circolo vizioso!
In cotanto scazzo, una persona di discreta esperienza mi ha consigliato di lasciar perdere le domande da un fantastilione di sesterzi ed i progetti con la P R O maiuscola, ammettere che non posso navigare senza la bussola (soprattutto con la sfiga sempre inquattata nell'ombra come l'iceberg di Titanic), and focus on the immediate present, an end in itself, purely corporeal. Type brush my teeth, and instead of one thousand saw me mental focus on the individual dog by rubbing. Beeello. For 6 / 7 nanoseconds work ... Or attend to the daily tasks with meticulous attention observing the colors of the box of tomatoes or the feeling of the objects in his hands.
Council wonderful, now I feel anxious as well as too crazy ... and, let's face it, the boxes of tomatoes that are not so exciting ...
In all this, I'm depressed? No, not really. Are suspended. And some 'reassurance: in other words, legions of philosophers, thinkers and artists who have poured rivers of ink to the boredom, will to say something. The conclusions to you, I'll leave ... Pending
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